A friend of mine shared this with me and it was too good not to post here. She too has dabbled in the world of online dating - met a few nice guys, filtered through a lot of "matches" that were clearly NOT a match and side-stepped a few crazies along the way.
She is bright, talented, lovable and open to meeting someone but finds it difficult when faced with something like this. Please read below for a FIRST communication from a potential "match" that is interested in her:
"woogie buggy your the chosen one. dinner tomorrow night at 5 at olive garden. use the challenging password (earballs) at the front door and my slaves will escort you to my throne where we shall feast like roman gods. After we feast like roman gods I will take you for a ride on my intergalactic spaceship to far edges of the galaxy and slay some aliens and be badass and stuff. and for the end we shall watch the sky for flying rocks in my super secret tree fort. I will also give your father 1000 camels of his choice as a reward for creating such a beautiful woman."
Personally, I'm most offended by the improper use of "your" - otherwise I would have been ALL IN for the Olive Garden.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
5'9" Frog
Okay, I admit, it's one of my "things" - height. I don't think it's too much to ask that my date/boyfriend/husband be taller than me even when I'm in heels. Maybe I'm crazy.
After communicating online with 5'9" Frog, we agreed to meet for a drink. I got there first and sat waiting patiently for him. I purposely wore flat flip-flops to make sure our heights were compatible at a very basic level. (For the record, I'm 5'6" flat footed.) And...in walks my date. I stand up...and look down. Okay, maybe not THAT bad but he WAS at least an inch shorter than me. 5'9" my foot! Height-exaggerating frog.
But, I sucked it up and hoped that, in lieu of height, his personality and charm would win me over and I wouldn't care about his height in the least. I am an optimist if nothing else.
Here's a sampling of the questions I was asked/statements that he made within the first 30 minutes or so:
- Do you have any tattoos?
- (Leaning over and sniffing my shoulder) What kind of perfume do you wear?
- Have you ever been with a black guy?
- Are you offended by that question? Because I make fun of all minorities.
- Is that a cooch purse? (Joking about the Coach purse I was carrying.)
- Have you ever been to The Cooch House? (Referencing a local bar called The Coach House.)
- I'm totally a metrosexual guy. Look at the giraffe on my shirt.
Short or not, definitely not the frog for me.
After communicating online with 5'9" Frog, we agreed to meet for a drink. I got there first and sat waiting patiently for him. I purposely wore flat flip-flops to make sure our heights were compatible at a very basic level. (For the record, I'm 5'6" flat footed.) And...in walks my date. I stand up...and look down. Okay, maybe not THAT bad but he WAS at least an inch shorter than me. 5'9" my foot! Height-exaggerating frog.
But, I sucked it up and hoped that, in lieu of height, his personality and charm would win me over and I wouldn't care about his height in the least. I am an optimist if nothing else.
Here's a sampling of the questions I was asked/statements that he made within the first 30 minutes or so:
- Do you have any tattoos?
- (Leaning over and sniffing my shoulder) What kind of perfume do you wear?
- Have you ever been with a black guy?
- Are you offended by that question? Because I make fun of all minorities.
- Is that a cooch purse? (Joking about the Coach purse I was carrying.)
- Have you ever been to The Cooch House? (Referencing a local bar called The Coach House.)
- I'm totally a metrosexual guy. Look at the giraffe on my shirt.
Short or not, definitely not the frog for me.
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